If you, a person who enjoys words, have ever dreamed of writing the Great American Novel in a (lovely, completely outfitted, charmingly designed) shack in the woods, but haven’t been able to figure out the whole “shack in the woods” part, consider this an answer to your Portlandia prayers.

SustainaFest is hosting an essay contest to win a Minim House, which is a very pretty tiny house whose prototype used to live in a Washington, D.C., micro-community we wrote about last year. If you can scrounge up $100 for the entry fee (hmm) and put together fewer than 350 compelling words on why a tiny house fits into your dream sustainable life — well, good on you! You can start on what is likely the least efficient path toward having a tiny home all to yourself.

And should you be that very lucky tiny house winner, here’s hoping you’re single. Not because I would like to date you — sorry! No — because sharing less than 200 square feet with someone with whom you would like to continue having sex sounds like a recipe for guaranteed hell.

More info below: